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Posted by on April 12, 2014

denzelq

Being Saturday and being the lame man I am I have done nothing that normal people do. I went to the park with Arty and that was about the gist of it. In other news though I have been pondering a lot of things today, and while I could and should be catching up on book reviews I got a bit hyper focused. It happens. So food for thought at random and all of that since it is looking like another long night in for myself never know this post may end up edited at some point.

Myth 1: Guys don’t have feelings

I call foul on this myth right away. It seems that decades of movies with John Waynes and Jason Strathams have convinced women that guys don’t have feelings. We do. In fact, we look to the women in our lives for validation, love, cuddling, and support. The difference is, we’re not particularly adept at telling you this. And we don’t want anything to get back to our guy friends. But a quick tip: Guys are, by and large, straightforward. We resent anything that feels like emotional manipulation. This means if we need some emotional support, make us feel safe and we’ll ask for it. But don’t try to drag out an emotional response. If you “just know” something is wrong with us, you’re probably reading too much into it.

Myth 2: Guys never want to talk about their feelings

Well, that depends upon your definition of “talk.” Ever seen how two guys share their hurts and disappointments? Bet you never did, because it happened so fast you missed it. Friend 1: “Hey man, my boss chewed me out me this week, my girlfriend is all hormonal about something I don’t know what, and I’m late with the rent.” Friend 2: “Ah, man. That sucks. That really sucks. I’m super sorry.”  Friend 1: “But it’s all right. You know?” Friend 2: “Yeah, just hang in there, buddy.” Friend 1: “Yeah.” Maybe they shake hands or hug a real man hug.  Friend 2: “So, the guys are getting together tonight for the game and some pizza. Wanna come?” Takeaway lesson: A guy will only share his troubles with someone he really trusts. Also, he’ll do it in a way that doesn’t make him look wimpy or lose face. Your guy will “talk” about his feelings with you. Just don’t expect a Shakespearean monologue. At the same time, listen to him when he does talk like this. Brush him off a couple times, and he’s not going to open up anymore.

Myth 3: He doesn’t care when I cry

Oh, tsk, tsk. First off, he does care. A lot. But most guys just don’t have the emotional tools in their toolbox to fix this problem. Remember the old saw? “Girls don’t want you to put out the fire – they just want you to stand in the fire with them and burn.” The truth is, most guys don’t know what you want when you cry. So why not tell them? “Look, I am crying because my best friend from high school just left a nasty message on my phone. So please, can you hold me for twenty minutes and then we’ll go get dinner at the seaside restaurant?” Wow. You’ve given him a way to fix this mess.

ptsd

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