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Posted by on November 23, 2015

Yes I am a man. I am a man who admits when he cries. Today I have cried. My Mom was cremated and as much as I would like to say I have held everything together after her death I know I haven’t. I respected all of her wishes to the letter but when her ashes came back I could not handle it. I could not deal with going to pick them up, neither could my Sister G. We both just could not do it and accept that part of things. Maybe it is lame, we handled everything else the memorial and everything. That one part, that last part we couldn’t deal with. So I ignored the notices, she ignored the phone calls. I did go in and tell the funeral parlor that I was sorry I had been avoiding them but for right now I would continue to do so even if it cost me money for storage. I just needed to get myself in a place where I could handle it or where Gwen could. The day that I went in however, the nice Director told me that another family member had picked Mom up and that not to worry it happens. Funeral Directors are really kind people for the record and I know a lot of people like to avoid them for one reason or another because of the job they do, but I appreciate them. Hope not to see one in anything but a social setting for a long time though. Anyways I digress. I thought that Gwen had picked Mom up and just did not mention it because she is dealing and grieving as much as I am. So I put it out of my mind for the time.

Then about an hour ago there was a special courier delivery here at the house in London. Certainly not an overly weird event with A and families jobs so I didn’t think much of it. That is until about 15 minutes later when A dressed in one of her nicer black outfits (no idea why I noticed the outfit choice) came in and asked if I would mind coming into the study with her. The study is by far one of my personal favorite rooms in the house but I digress again.

When I went into the study and once we were both situated and settle at this point I was starting to get suspicious that perhaps she had some kind of horrible news to tell me. Not like A to draw things out especially right now since she is expecting and her filter is busted. So this had to be bad. Like epic bad, my mind went to places like her Cancer was back or her immune system had shut down completely. Or one of the twins was very sick or something was wrong with the new podlings growing. What seemed like an hour to me was really only a few seconds until she produced this.

There is four in total two of the green and two of the blue.

MemorialGem2

memorialdiamond

For anyone reading who is now probably getting confused as to why it was such a big deal to give unset stones to someone. Well that is because these are something they call memorial gems or cremation diamonds. These are made from the ashes of my Mom. So it turns out A is the one who picked them up. She was worried at this point I would be upset about the whole deal. Here it is one time she was wrong. I am so beyond touched that she would think of doing this. I had no idea they made these items. I had been debating about raising the question to Gwen if perhaps we should have Mom put in one of those new tree urns they have where your ashes grow a tree. This however, this is just something on such a different and deep level. To know Mom will always be with me in this way and that a final gift from her was to turn even in death into something as beautiful and priceless as she was in life. So yes I cried, a lot.

Once I had composed myself relatively well A went on to tell me that she thought by having four in two shades (favored ones in our family) Gwen and I could either chose to each take a set of one color or mix and match. She also said that the she already set everything up with a local jeweler here in London to set the stones in any fashion that we would like as soon as Gwen and I decided what we would like done with them. More tears were had with that.

Then I had a conversation with Gwen. Bonus side to both being in the EU right now time differences aren’t such a problem for things like this. After that talk I went and found A to let her know what we decided. Gwen wants me to keep a pair and I decided on the blue and I am going to have them made into cuff links. Gwen is going to have hers set into a ring that can go with her wedding set so that it can become a piece that she hands down via marriage (that was what she had planned on doing with her wedding set which is very pretty on its own). We both then agreed that the second green Gem needed to go to A. Not just because of this act of kindness that she did for us, or for the many things she has done for us over the years. We made this choice because our Mom was like a second Mom to her. She may be covering her own grief about the loss well, to be supportive for us and we appreciate it so much but we both know how much she is really grieving. So it just seemed to be the fitting and right thing to do.

This news of course made her cry so there has been a lot of crying going on. She hasn’t decided what to do with hers yet as she wasn’t expecting to make that call. So yeah, been an interesting day here in London town and it isn’t even noon yet.

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