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Posted by on March 2, 2016

JJournals

 

Another set of full journals. A sign maybe or of course could just be that I have been writing in them a lot. I don’t know. Been struggling and out there a bit lately. My friends comment hit home pretty hard and then I finished the last pages of these journals today. Kind of felt like the universe was saying something. I could be reading into that too. I do not seem to have much luck lately in reading signals of any kind. So I have pretty much no faith in my here is a sign picker these days.

I have a plain back up journal because of these ones being full and I knew they were getting there, but I don’t feel like writing in it. Not sure that is a good thing either. I just don’t know right now. I have been up and down and all over the place. I miss my Mom a lot. I am upset that she isn’t going to see A’s first born reach 1 year. I am sad that she wouldn’t  remember even if she did. She would have been so happy for A. Then there is other things, I just won’t go into in public. So yeah my picker is off. Apologies to anyone reading who is saying woah man depressing much. I work on the positive a lot and I manage most days but sometimes I don’t. I am human and I feel like I have been long chasing someone who doesn’t want to be caught. So stopping the chase. That can be hard too.

On the bright side, I seem to be pretty okay at crochet and I enjoy it. Met another solider who does it to keep him calm, like myself. Might not seem like a manly thing when you first look at it, but it is therapy and can save lives. Yeah I said save lives.

 

 

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