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Posted by on February 16, 2018

…You’re gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all….

One can relate.

Posted by on December 26, 2015

First Christmas without my Mom completed. I made it through so achievement unlocked. Wasn’t so hard overall because there were so many people around and so much to do. I could have been happier in a lot of ways. Mom not being gone obviously but I accepted she wouldn’t before the holiday. So yeah other things but you have to deal with the plate you get served right?

I knew after admitting I crochet now this would happen. So not complaining A has good taste in yarn and passes it on to anyone who asked, lol so part of my gifts.


Bless my sisters heart for covering the socks and underwear this year. Granted she has been doing it the last several years since Mom could not remember to do it but it held a deeper level of meaning this year.

Thanks to C & B ect for the various camera accessories to help my budding enjoyment of photography.


Today was tough for several reasons but I think most of that is going to go into the hand written journal when I get a chance. I got the very big point out that I am likely being to open in my public spaces so reigning that in some is on the try it this way list. A is in early labor and has a cold so that has been a bit stressful and interesting. I can not imagine having the pain of contractions coming at random and the pain and upset of a chest cold. I admit I can be a man toddler when I am sick so totally feeling the pain there on what level I can relate anyways. I am totally not one of the try guys and won’t be trying that labor simulation.

Been on the move since 6 and not likely to end for hours yet. Long post Christmas day.

Next achievement to unlock in a few days….. New Years. This year not looking forward to it at all.

Posted by on December 23, 2015

I can’t do a movie review without giving spoilers. Other then well done. The movie was good.

and this is the face I made at one point:


Posted by on December 2, 2015

Sometimes you are blessed enough on a rather ordinary day to see something purely extraordinary.

Let it go from Ambrosia Jefferson on Vimeo.

Posted by on July 17, 2015

I am a little behind on posting anything about what happened in TN yesterday because I have been processing it. When I saw A posting a tearful commentary, I knew I had to finally put something to paper or blog as it were, I will be putting things to paper as well but those kind of things should not be posted where the public can see them.

Muhammad Youssef Abdulazeez you are human scum.

Not because of any of the deluded reasons you seem to think. Not because your name has made you “profiled” your being from Kuwait or anything like that. No. You are human scum because you walked into places and started shooting. Wounding innocent people and killing innocent people. Normally I want scum to rot in prison for what they did, but I am glad the cops killed you. I don’t want a single cent of my hard earned money to go to pay for your ass sitting in jail for what you did. You know what you aren’t even human scum I am going to go back and edit that you are just SCUM.

I wish to send healing enegry and condolences to all of those who lost a loved one in this senseless act. To those who were wounded up I hope you recover quickly.

Oorah my friends. Oorah.

Posted by on May 25, 2015




Remember to thank your service people this memorial day. Whether they are veterans are still active. It is a hard job but one that is done so that everyone can continue to enjoy freedom.

Posted by on May 23, 2015

Doing a little family jam to entertain the guests we have. This one hit just as hard as when it was written.

Posted by on April 2, 2015

Sitting here feeling like a terrified child. A lot of things weighing heavy on my mind right now. Waiting to hear some answers on things. Don’t know why I blog or looked online but I saw this picture pop up. Spoke to me so I thought I would post it. Going back to waiting and feeling like an idiot for feeling like a child.


Posted by on September 2, 2014


From the Halls of Montezuma
To the shores of Tripoli
We fight our country’s battles
In the air, on land, and sea;
First to fight for right and freedom
And to keep our honor clean;
We are proud to claim the title
Of United States Marine.

Our flag’s unfurled to every breeze
From dawn to setting sun;
We have fought in every clime and place
Where we could take a gun.
In the snow of far-off Northern lands
And in sunny tropic scenes;
You will find us always on the job —
The United States Marines.

Here’s health to you and to our Corps
Which we are proud to serve;
In many a strife we’ve fought for life
And never lost our nerve.
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven’s scenes,
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines.


So here it is time to Marine up again. You tear a man down so you can build him up to be a Marine so they say, well sowell, sometimesave to put the man back together. This is the time that I do that. I have given my oath as a United States Marine to my CO. I will at all costs keep that Oath. Within that oath I made others and I will do my best to keep them. I may fall and stumble¬†stumble, but‚ÄčMarine. I will get up. I will contiune. I will get to the end of my journey succesfully.

I will respect the limitations that my service has currently given me. I will remember they are temporary they are not shameful, they are just as real as any physical scar I carry from my service. They are a badge, a proof of service. I will remember this always. I give myself leeway in remembering that. It is not weak to allow leeway.

I will within respecting my limits tell those around me when I am at my limits and if they will not respect that I have reached them. I will remove myself from the situations at hand with. I do this not because of a lack of anything to those who may not hear what I say but for myself. For my recover, for this wounded warrior to mend.

I will return to the situations when my limits again allow me too. Withdrawing from a life is not an opition.

I will understand if those in my foundation of support snap at me it is not lack of love or support.

I will as I always have appreciate and respect those who chose to stand with me and me a foundation as I rebuild myself. I will do my best to express this as I am able. It is not easy to be a foundation for a wounded warrior, I will always remember this as I have done so. But I will always keep in mind that faith and support will be rewarded when I am well and able to stand firm once more.

I will make a noting of words here in writing at least once per week even if it is privately kept, but will strive to make it public as stress allows.

I make it a solid Oath and goal to be over my first and perhaps most challengeing hurdle of verbal communication on a phone device, before the first Birthday of Edward and Annabelle. I understand this is a goal and not set in solid bedrock but it is a goal to which I will strive to meet.

This is my Oath. I am Marine. I will rebuild. I will not be defeated.

Posted by on August 31, 2014

Another day..another year. whatever that means. Sorry about lack of updates help in my review formating fell by the wayside. I will get back to it on my own at some point. Maybe not this month but before December I will. I hope. anyways.




Do you know a life of loneliness and one filled with pain
living a life with nothing to gain. Surrounded by darkness
Overwhelmed with shame. A life without peace with no one to blame.

Do you know of a place unseen, a place that holds only shattered dreams, A place filled with sorrow with no end in sight, I am given this gift each and every night.

Do you know of a place so cold, this is the place I call my soul. A place without hope or comforting dreams, a life not worth living wouldn’t it seem

Do you know of a life, that should have never been, and the feeling that today, this life has to end. One more day of sadness is much too hard to bare, I am tired of living a life of heart ache and despair.

Do you know a person with so much pain inside, or the feeling of loneliness when no one hears your cries, maybe when the tears are gone, and I can clearly see, the only question left will be..

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